I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
