dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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