It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
