Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
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Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
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Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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