ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
This baby is an asshole
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
