oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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