I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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