do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Randomize
