Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
