I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
