i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
