Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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