the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
