I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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