Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I need to calm my uterus...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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