im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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