Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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