it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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