Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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