when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
