no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
