and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
