things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
