Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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