I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize