So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
only if we run a train.
done.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
