Screwed.edu
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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