He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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