the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
