I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize