Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
