Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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