I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
