I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i out mim tonsoeep
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
