You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
