Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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