yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
