return my video game
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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