i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
