I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize