i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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