ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
