I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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