At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
