Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
