I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
