Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
