Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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