we're chasing vodka with high fives
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
