$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
