You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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