she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
