i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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