just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
