OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My life is pants optional.
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