If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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